Mmmmmmm I need a hook in meeeeee
“And, a cock
Perhaps….
I will bind your arms and secure the hook together
And then tape your wand to the hook as I let you lick my feet
If you get distracted I will crop you
And if you beg nicely
I might Allow you to hump my foot until you Scream for Permission to cum
Then…”
Yes, My Master
“Cum! You pathetic weak-minded cunt
Coat my foot
Just to lick it clean”
Oh, I would cum all over your foot, My Lord
And suck my juices off your toes
“O, I know you will”
Happiness
I just read through our texts and photos from the week and it struck me what a good week this has been. I thought about just writing “I’M HAPPY” as my blog entry and signing off this week but I’m not that lazy and why should I be able to write novels when I have criticism and only a few words to describe my joy. You deserve to know all the details of contentment and satisfaction as much as when I am struggling.
When I say things are going well, I don’t mean there have been no conflicts or issues all week but we handled them well and my feelings about them are less intense. We are communicating better and I am feeling more securely attached to you than ever, My Lord. The beginning of this week was so relaxing and fun as I was off of work and you encouraged me to enjoy the time off, giving me yet another Public task, which I even advanced in by continuing to fuck FC2 even with others present (although they could not see me). I felt playful and sexy this week, naughtily plugging myself in my car in a parking lot and sending you a little video of it. Then flouncing into the restaurant in my short skirt and thong with your plug tight in FC3, smiling at the men there who were drooling over your cute slut.
Unfortunately, of course I did eventually have to return to work and it was a rough re-entry. But you kept me happy with edging tasks and allowed extra orgasms which you know always soothes and pleases your greedy Slave. That first day back from vacation, I was stressed and happy to be leaving work. I did the Grounding ritual, which I had not done for a while as I had been plugged throughout my time off. Doing the ritual was so soothing, it felt like walking into a pool of cool water. Sinking to my knees, taking your plug in FC1 and truly sucking it, in regressive bliss. Letting my mind go calm and flat as I stared in the mirror at my true reflection. Saying the words that you put in my mouth and in my mind. And finally the stretch and weight of the plug, my “new normal” as you like to remind me, grounding me to you as I gently stroked your clit.
Something you have brought up a few times this week, which I find interesting, is the idea of me “always” having been a Slave. I would like to talk to you more about that and understand your meaning. From what you have said so far, I feel like you identify the desire to be a Slave with having low self esteem and lack of confidence. While I certainly have insecurities and moments of uncertainty I don’t self identify as having major issues with either of those problems. I was raised by my parents in a conventional way and do believe on some level that I must “earn” the love and attention of others. I was never abused or neglected though, and although I do love to be degraded and humiliated, I don’t suffer from timidity or feelings of incompetence. In fact, generally I have a robust ego (some might say too much so!) and at least in situations where I feel I have mastery over something, I will advocate strongly to be the leader. Although I believe that love and attention must be “earned”, I also believe that I am good at earning them. I have always worked hard to achieve success in multiple areas of my life and I am confident that I can continue to do so, although the areas where I direct my formidable energy change and shift over time.
I believe my Slavery and service to you come from desire to let go. To not be the leader but rather to be led. To be responsible for clearly defined tasks but not to have to make the decisions. To submit, to be claimed, to feel strengthened by the limits and restrictions placed on me by another. You take me to deeper and darker recesses than I knew I even had and I can trust you to watch over me there and lead me back. You know my weaknesses and my failings. You know to keep your hand heavy on me and the collar tight and I will repay you with all my self, now your Property. To be used is my pleasure and you will use me directly and as a tool to enjoy others through my actions both at your command and that of my own filthy mind.