March 12th, 2020
Permission to masturbate to orgasm, Sir?
My njoy butt plug has been a very important tool in this process of developing submission and the first toy I was asked to purchase. Initially I was completely turned off by idea of wearing a butt plug out and about. First because the only butt plug I had ever used was a set of graduated glass ones which would be distracting and impractical for use outside of a sexual encounter. When I got my njoy plug I understood much better how you could be plugged for long periods of time. It is heavy and made of solid steel with a narrow tapered stem and flat loop that sits between your cheeks. The first time I wore it I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it, the gentle shift of it when I moved, the weight creating a feeling of fullness that was pleasurable, little ripples all through the day. You laughed when I told you how amazing it feels to drive my rickety old beater of a car with all it’s vibrations and the plug in your ass.
It has been used for both pleasure and for punishment. One of my first punishments was to wear it for an entire day and by the end I was sore and tired of it. Recently I wore it for a full day of activities including taking my children to lessons, talking with my husband, shopping, going out for lunch. You were curious about how I felt about it.
In many ways it mirrors my feelings about kink in general, something secretly pleasurable, something I would be embarrassed to have people know about, something I worry about intruding into my “real” life. It was an experiment to wear it during a regular day of my life and it was not as bad as I thought it would be. You didn’t let me take it out for gym as I requested and I know that was to emphasize that I am wearing it at your bidding, not at my convenience. When you asked me what my thoughts and feelings were about wearing it all day, they were mixed. Pleasure from the physical sensation, embarrassment that I would do something like this for a man I barely know, pride that I completed a task you asked me to correctly, annoyed by the end of the day by the physical discomfort.
The next day you didn’t plug me at all and to my surprise and mild horror, I missed it. I am plugged now as I write this and as ridiculous as it sounds, it makes me feel closer to you. You told me I would be plugged more often than I ever expected and you were right. I know I will be plugged the first time we meet in person too. Perhaps you will unplug me then and use me as you wish.