Playing in the Woods 11/28/20

It’s going to be so hard to behave myself, My Master

I am so obsessed with you

“But that is why you will obey me and behave, my little Slave”

I will, of course, My Master

But it’s so hard when you look like that

Exposed, Teased, Tormented and A Taste of Master’s Cock

As instructed, I arrived at the trailhead at nine am, prepared with a cafe mocha for you, a fully charged phone and the Hush in FC3. I had added an almond biscotti as an extra treat for My Master, remembering your sweet tooth and fondness for little gestures of devotion. As previously instructed, I was wearing the open cup bra I had ordered special made in dark red and black which you refer to as part of my “uniform”. It has an underwire that lifts the breasts but no cup so the majority of the breast and the nipples are completely exposed for you to play with or show as you desire. This was under a cranberry colored shirt that had a deep surplice V neckline which opened to the waist and allowed my breasts to be easily exposed with just a slight tug of the fabric. This was paired with tight black leggings, a black scarf and hiking boots. I felt like a proper service sub, rushing out of the coffee shop, ass firmly plugged, my exposed nipples hard and a my mind a little harried thinking I might be keeping My Master waiting.

You had beat me there by a few minutes and greeted me appearing relaxed, in good spirits and looking absolutely gorgeous in aviators, jeans and a winter jacket, still tan from the warmer climate you had been enjoying. I took pleasure in presenting you with your coffee and leaned forward to kiss you, at which you gave me a stern frown and shake of the head and reminded me that I needed to ask. I apologized sheepishly and you allowed your eager little Pet to kiss and nuzzle your cheeks. You took me on your arm, gave me a hug and a snuggle and we headed up the trail after you took my phone and set the Hush in your FC3 to vibing a nice pattern which made me moan in pleasure. A few minutes in you glanced around and seeing no one immediately about, promptly gave my ass several loud and firm slaps. I winced, gasped and then giggled at how loud it was. This was just a taste of the play to come.

We slowly worked out way up the steep and rocky hill typical of this region until we came to an overlook. This was a popular hiking spot and people popped in and out every five to ten minutes or so on their way up the mountain. We were briefly alone and admiring the view when you wrapped your arms around me, whispered in my ear for me to cum and reached into my shirt, expertly locating and pinching my nipple hard while I orgasmed in your arms. Then you abruptly pulled open my top, fully exposing your Property’s breasts to the chilly breeze at the top of the cliff where we stood, promptly hardening my naked nipples. I was shocked and whimpered a protest, trying to curl my chest in, but you took my arms and pulled them back, thrusting my breasts out further. I had never been so exposed and immediately felt FC2 throbbing with excitement. You saw people heading up the trail and turned me slightly, while I covered myself in a second and we casually resumed walking, greeting other hikers with polite small talk as we strolled along.

Little did the other morning hikers know how you were torturing your Slave right in front of them. Alternating between the periods of walking, chatting and admiring the views, you repeatedly ordered me to cum, sometimes in full view of others, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes in your arms, telling me to hold onto you and other times no mercy was shown and you demanded I continue the conversation we had been enjoying even as an orgasm rolled through my body, telling me to keep walking, keep explaining, keep kissing you or whatever I had been doing when you ordered me to orgasm. I tried so hard to do so, but my brain doesn’t work very well when I am sexually excited and you laughed to see your smart alpha submissive, barely able to string words together, cumming in my panties on your command. You kept playing with the Hush, at times leaving it off, other times running a pattern sent vibrations from your stuffed FC3 through my sensitive and aroused FC2. During all this you kept up a wonderful and natural flowing of a mix of endearments, calling me your Pet, Treasure, Princess mixed with frequent verbal degradation, constantly reminding me I was your whore, your Slut, your Piss Pup, your Slave. Always, always your Slave.

We reached the top of the ridge where there was a large tower, which we were unable to climb due to COVID restrictions. There were attractive grounds with outbuildings and you led us around them, chatting pleasantly with the strangers we bumped into. You again pulled me into your arms, letting me kiss and caress you with your permission. You fondled my breasts and pinched my nipples, you grabbed my hair and pulled my head far back, exposing my neck which you bit, harder than before, making me moan in pleasure and pain. I enjoyed feeling more of your body as you let me rub my hands over your ass, while I wigged against you in excitement, causing you to laugh at your horny Slut Slave. You had forgotten a hat and complained of your ears being cold and I happily offered to warm them with my mouth or my hands, both of which you took advantage of. I enjoyed very much having my body be used by you for this need and I told you that to do so was my purpose, to bring you comfort and pleasure and you agreed and called me “such a devoted Slave”.

We wandered off to a small picnic shelter, slightly less exposed although I could still see people, they were looking away at the view or chatting with their companions. I couldn’t keep my hands or my mouth off you and you seemed to enjoy the affectionate touch, having not been caressed by another in a long time while you were away. I was indulged with more kissing, biting, hair pulling and command orgasms; you reached around and firmly shoved the Hush even deeper in your FC3 and rubbed my clit through my tight leggings, making me pant and press against your hand. Then you told me to kneel which I was nervous about, given the public setting but I didn’t hesitate, trusting that you would not have me do so unless it was reasonably safe. You had me recite Morning Prayer again which I did readily while staring deep in your eyes. You allowed me to stand and we headed back down the trail.

It was getting busier on the trail with large groups of hikers as the morning went on. We attempted to find a quieter area but it was difficult. Finally you took us off the path to a slightly less trafficked area, although people were clearly not far away. I was excited, hoping that you would allow me to suck on your cock, which I had been dreaming about and desiring for months. Indeed, you told me to kneel and open my mouth, “no hands” was my instruction and you unbuttoned and unzipped and your thick hard cock was in my face, much to my delight. I eagerly took you in my mouth and sucked it with your warm, wet, FC1, running my tongue up the bottom of your cock and savoring the feel of you. You had me look up at you several times and pulled it out to wipe it across my face, smearing me with spit, having me hold my mouth open while you rested your cock gently in FC1, knowing I was desperate to suck you again. Finally you allowed me to again begin to suck and lick you and I felt you getting harder as I continued. I was so aroused and feeling thrilled, hoping that I would be able to make you cum in a few more minutes when you abruptly stopped and had me button you back up.

Of course I followed orders but I was sad that I didn’t get to bring you to climax and get to taste My Master’s cum. We continued down the trail, still snuggling and kissing, with you at one point stopping in the middle of the trail and wrapping your arms around me, having me cum, which I did hard, shaking in pleasure at which point you reached into my shirt again and flicked my nipples hard. This was much more painful that the pinching and I gasped loudly in surprise at the intensity, which caused my orgasm to immediately fade. You noticed and asked and I explained that sharp pain can cause me to lose my focus on the pleasure that you allow me. I also shared that I was worried about my ability to tolerate pain and that I hoped you would go slow with me, which you reassured me you would.

We headed to lunch at the restaurant of your choice and you told me it would be your treat, a gesture which made me smile and feel spoiled. At lunch we enjoyed chatting about a wide variety of topics; again the conversation was easy and flowing. You rolled your eyes in amusement and frustration at my tendency to talk too loudly when excited, which you have to continually correct and I suggested a gag for the future. You thought perhaps a shock collar. You let me sit next to you in the booth and kept a hand on me or had me put my leg over yours so we were always physically connected throughout the meal. You fed me again. At one point you decided to briefly exposed my tits in this crowded dining room, which made me literally squirm and protest as the hostess was scanning the room in boredom. You put my hands flat on the table and made me cum, feeling my body shake against yours, your power over me, telling me to squeeze your hand so I could stay quiet.

After lunch you walked me to my car and backed me against it, grabbing me by the hair (which I love) and pulling my head so far back, it felt like all I could see was the blue autumn sky and your dark eyes. You bit me again, I will have to see if I have marks this morning. Then you flipped me around and pulled my shoulders back, pinning them behind me alternating with rubbing them in massage. The massage felt fantastic as my muscles are tight from the heavy workouts I do. You told me that soon you would restrain me like that, shoulders pinned back, chest thrust forward. Then you looked around the parking lot, which was surrounded by office buildings on all sides and, although not full, was busy with cars and people going by every few minutes. You pulled my shirt open, which I thought would again be for a second only, but instead of caressing, pinching or flicking your play toys, you pressed them hard, against the cold glass window of your car, while you pinned my arms behind me. You arranged my scarf over the sides so that at a very casual glance we would just look like an amorous couple in a slightly inappropriate cuddle but anyone who took a second look or had the right angle would see that you actually had my full, naked breasts squished and exposed while you held me down. I scanned the windows of the building around me, while I took in the sensation of the smooth cold glass on my now tender nipples and felt your strong hands on me, pushing me down, placing me as you wanted me, using me. I don’t know how long I was held like that, probably no where near as long as it felt. You released me and I covered myself and dove back into your arms and you held me and stroked my hair, then buried your hand in it and pulled my head up, telling me to kiss your cheeks again, which I did so, feeling so soft, Owned, controlled. I loved how you pushed me and yet were there for me afterwards.

We said our goodbyes and I sat in the car for a bit to collect my thoughts and just relax. I felt exhausted but calm and happy. There had been so many new things and I enjoyed them so much. I love how you brought together moments of shock, pain and humiliation with tenderness, affection and pleasure. That is the combination I truly love and find so addicting and exciting. I realized fully how much power you have over me and how you will not hesitate to use it as you wish. A thought which makes me both excited with anticipation and of course, also a little nervous even though I feel great trust in you, My Master. I know you will push me like no other would dare.

Although our physical interactions were incredible throughout the morning, some of the things we talked about were equally important and appreciated by me. Several times while hiking you mentioned my play partner, as I had told you that I had notified him that I was no longer available for sex. I was uncertain about how to react as you never spoke or asked about him before. You reflected on that stage in our relationship, stating that you felt that it was only after that error and almost losing you that I deepened my submission or as you put it you “set the hook”. Talking about that time is very emotional for me and my eyes filled with tears thinking about how I could so easily have never even had these experiences with you because of my impulsivity and poor sexual self control. You understand that your Slave needs to continue to work on self control and receive firm correction and consequences for her errors. Also you brought up that you had been chatting with a new woman on Tinder and told me about her, her BDSM interests, showed me your texts and that you had suggested she stop by for lunch if she was interested in meeting us. Sadly she was clear in her desire for a monogamous relationship with a potential Dom but I thanked you for your transparency about your continued pursuit of other women either for casual play or for you to take as another sub/gf. I’m glad we are talking about that and your honesty and openness really helps me feel safe and connected to you which reduces my inevitable anxiety about my role as you take on new relationships in the coming weeks and months.

It was an amazing morning spent in service and play with My Master. I thank you for your attention and for continuing to choose me for your Slave. I thank you for the delicious lunch and the many orgasms, My Master. My goal is your happiness, My Lord, and your use of me fills me with pleasure. I hope soon you will choose to fill me with your cum as well, I can’t wait to have access to your whole body and hope you will allow me to lavish you with my service, attention and affection, knowing you can take whatever pleasure you desire from your Property with just a word.

Weekly Update 8/16/20-8/23/20

“Whattttttttt are you?”

Your Property, My Master

“Check your email”

(New Mantras for Identify, Loyalty and Grounding from My Master)

Thank you, My Master

I just read them all out loud to myself in the car

“And….”

I loved Grounding and Loyalty, My Master

I will need to get used to the changes you made in the Identify Mantras, My Master

They surprised me

“O”

I assure you My Master that I am not lying to you or seeking outside relationships

Other than being on the lookout for potential women for us to play with or a potential gf for you, as instructed, My Wolf

I understand from your words that is clearly a concern and I will accept these Mantras, My Master

I am on my knees for YOU

I seek attention from YOU

Yes, I tease and attract but that is just a game, My Master

It is not serious and I follow your restrictions happily

You have my heart and mind, My Master

My body is your Property

“Pet,

You are an attention slut.

And, by your own disclosure, when people flirt….

You could easily drift.”

“Yes.

It is”

“I am an Open minded Owner.

I don’t mind if my Mutt holds her own leash at times.

Review and send me SUGGESTED Modification to the mantras”

No, My Master

I will take these Mantras as they stand, My Lord

Until YOU are ready to soften them

Bc YOU believe that I am true to you

I already know it

But it will not hurt me to be reminded of the potential for weakness, My Master

“Master doesn’t want to HARM his property.

Use and abuse, sure…”

Your doubt does not harm me, My Wolf

It saddens me

It frustrates me

But I will earn your trust, My Lord

Deepening

It has been a busy week. I have struggled to start this blog entry, not sure how to tie together the many things we have been discussing and planning together, My Wolf. On a broader level, I guess that reflects how well and frequently we are communicating now. We have made great progress over the past few weeks and I feel strongly connected, more confident in my submission and even more excited about the future as I become less anxious that you will abandon me upon returning home. You have been open about your thoughts for organizing your relationships with me and others and I appreciate that transparency. You have continued to connect me with others in your life and the Lifestyle in general, having me chat on line with previous and current playmates/subs this week. I do find it challenging to understand what tone to take with these women as I don’t want to look like a fool because I don’t know the backstory of your relationship with them, nor do I want to overstep accidentally as I don’t know what your thoughts are on what their role might be in your life.

In response to some of these concerns, we spoke over the phone this week for the first time in a long time. I have recently purchased a beautiful new car and you have been helping me celebrate with various fun and kinky tasks. We talked in the car in a secluded parking lot of a local park, ironically the same one where we talked after I broke your trust with my Play Partner. That time it was raining and I wept through the entire conversation. This time it was a beautiful, hot summer night and there were no tears, but instead attention, connection, humor, trust, release, honesty and pleasure. You had me bring a wand, of course and led your Property through orgasm after orgasm, as you know so well how to do. Again and again you asked me what I am, who I am. Again and again I answered, I am your Property, I am your Slave as the pressure built, as the climax ripped through me, I yelled it, “I am YOUR SLAVE”. I am blushing and smiling now, to think of it.

Beyond the play, however, My Master, which is always excellent with you, was the sense of ease we have arrived at. I hope you felt it too. Not disrespectful, not dismissive of the dynamic between us, but I think reflecting that both of us are letting our walls down slowly and also understanding each other. The fact that we can enjoy just talking together, laughing and comfortable, that gives me great hope for the future too. We work well together outside of the purely sexual/BDSM realm and that will make some of our plans for traveling together and other adventures more pleasant for both of us. You are an intelligent, open minded and articulate man and I enjoy your company when I am seated by your side as much as when I am on my knees.

I also returned to work this week, which was surprisingly physically challenging for me after the surgery. My work is not physically difficult but mentally requires attention to detail, careful decision making, strong emotional control and leadership. While I have been up and about for some time now, I had been taking a rest in the afternoon, obviously not possible at work. I am impatient with weakness in myself and frustrated by being slower and more easily fatigued than usual. You are well aware of this tendency in myself and have been keeping a close eye on my activity level, encouraging me to rest, adapting Tasks to reduce the stress on me and chiding me gently for not getting enough sleep. You charge me with taking good care of your Property, which motivates me more than my own discomfort. Many experiences in my life have reinforced my fatigue or discomfort as being of little consequence and to be ignored in favor of getting work done and meeting the needs of others. This training, both implicit and explicitly reinforced by my profession and motherhood, has helped me be successful in life, but at the cost of not always being in tune with my own needs. And in a fucked up way, I take pride in that as well. Being such a work horse and martyr that never breaks, that cannot break without harming those that I carry, that I am responsible for.

With you I feel things are more equal. I care for you, think about you and your needs, take actions to show you my devotion and offer you my attention and thoughts when you want them. I do protect you, My Master, in my own way. In return you lift some responsibility from my shoulders by controlling my sexuality and more and more my relationships outside my marriage. The other night you told me that you are responsible for me, which made me laugh a bit to myself. That will take a long time for me to believe, My Master and require so much trust, for me to truly rest in your Ownership. Ever since I was a young girl, I have felt that there is no protection for me but the protection I provide myself. There is no God watching over me. My parents loved me but, of course, could not stop the world and its terrible and arbitrary cruelty. So I learned young that life is hard and there is no limit on how hard it can become. I am alone in it, and although others may help me, I must be strong enough to persevere and not fall apart no matter what happens next. In subspace, in the throes of overwhelming sensation and sexual oblivion, I am able to let this go and I just exist, floating and open, vulnerable and raw. You will see me then, My Master, my soul shining out of my eyes as you abuse and pleasure the flesh of your Property, more completely than most people in this world will ever know me.

Attention Whore

My new Identify Mantras emphasize your Ownership and my position as worthless, weak willed Property, as is to be expected. However, they also introduced the concept of my being an “attention seeking little girl”, a theme which has become increasingly prominent this week. I am not sure what exactly triggered this change but I have suspicions that it may be related to multiple things. I have been enjoying making playful, cute videos online which have drawn some compliments from others. I was also recently unexpectedly approached by an attractive couple I know online to participate in virtual sex play with them, sexting and watching videos of them performing sex acts for my viewing. Lastly, the dominatrix you are familiar with, whom I had introduced myself to and who indicated an interest in me, came forward with a more solid request for me to join her in a submissive role to dom several young men together.

All of this attention and pursuit has occurred under your watchful eye, My Master, and nothing has been hidden. I have followed all your instructions and restrictions and told you everything communicated between myself and others. I hope that you are able to see the attention and compliments your Property receives as tribute to you as my Owner. I am naturally an extroverted, playful, sexual person, My Master. I enjoy flirting and talking to people. I do enjoy attention and I don’t see that as some terrible or shameful flaw. I think this is one of the traits that actually draws you to me, my curiosity, energy and whole hearted engagement with the world and the people in it. Especially when I am happy and feeling good, I am quite silly and you make me feel that way everyday, My Wolf! I explained to you that you are the target audience for such content and you were surprised which made me sigh and laugh…how do you not understand this, My Master?

I decided to accept the Mantras as they are for several reasons. One, it is extremely important to me that the Mantras come as much from you as possible. I do NOT want to write my own Mantras. They are an important way for you to shape and influence my mind and it would be too easy for both of us to slip into allowing me to write them which undermines our roles. I care less that they are “perfect” and much more that they are from the mind of My Lord. As such, even when they don’t sit well with me, they are useful in that they remind me of what your concerns are, where you see my failings, what you wish me to be attentive to, even if I am less concerned. Perhaps I am over confident, My Master, and certainly, your Pathetic Slut Slave always needs humbling. It is also good for me to practice accepting what I am given by my Lord without criticism or worry about my own desires. Hence why it does me good to be put on my knees as often as you do, so I can bow my head, kiss your feet and remember my place here is not to control but to let go, follow your lead and be grateful you have chosen to put your hand upon me.