Tag: Slut

Meeting My Master 11/25/20

Posted on by Avertas

Voicemails between My Master and Property

On the topic of being your tasty little Slut, My Master, do you have any preferences on what you want me to wear or not wear…Or just go with my gut, My Master?

Other than my Slave Plug, of course, My Master

“Since this will be an evening of firsts for you…Dealer’s choice, go with your gut…casual yet sexy. And then this weekend I will require more easy access. Tonight, not so much. I would like to relax you before I consume you”.

Thank you, My Master. It will be as you wish

____________________________________________________

I am home safe, My Master

Thank you for a wonderful evening and for accepting me as your Slave, My Lord

“Thank you, My Slave.

I hope you enjoyed yourself tonight

I did.”

Immensely, My Master

“O.

Why?”

I am going to be quite distracted now thinking about Saturday and an opportunity to serve you further, My Master

Because you are just what I hoped you would be, My Master

I can’t explain what a relief it was to be in your arms

And to be allowed to kneel for you, My Lord

I did not make a mistake in choosing to give myself to you

You came home on Tuesday and I was dying of anticipation, giving girlish squeals of happiness every time you were able to send me a quick update on your journey back; a selfie and brief text from the airport sending a thrill through me. You were finally here, less than half an hour drive away. I was ecstatic. You had planned for us to meet this weekend for a hike and perhaps lunch, but I knew I would be losing my mind waiting for so long. To my relief, with some gentle nudging and sweet begging, you agreed to let us meet earlier. I was pleased to be able to take you out for a homecoming dinner and we chose my favorite steakhouse restaurant to meet on Wednesday at 7 pm.

I had a strange day; work wasn’t too busy and I had several appointments to get lab work drawn. I was distracted by all the running around, but always in the back of my mind was the constant awareness that I was getting closer and closer to finally meeting you, My Master. I was nervous that the date would fall through so it wasn’t until you left me a voice message confirming and letting me know what to wear that it fully hit me that we would finally really meet today. I hurried home from my errands and started trying to figure out WHAT TO WEAR… You had instructed “casual yet sexy” but I know your taste is women’s clothing runs firmly in the “sexy” category. I immediately nixed all jeans and sweater combinations. I sent pics of various options to my friend who helped me chose a decidedly sexy outfit of a bright red halter style top with mesh neckline over a black fitted skirt which I work with nude thigh high stockings and black heels. I was torn about wearing heels since I am tall and I knew we would be about the same height in heels. However, I know you love my legs and they looked too good in heels for me to switch to flats. I was starting to run out of time as it took so long to figure out my outfit. I freshened up my makeup, put on some perfume and ran to my car already feeling the nerves start to build.

I was getting more and more nervous as I drove the twenty mintues to the restaurant. I am not generally an anxious person so I was surprised at the intensity of my feelings. I tried playing music loudly to try and distract myself and giving myself little pep talks that if you were weird or you didn’t seem to like me that I would be okay. Although in my heart, of course, I knew that it would be devastating to me if we were not a good fit for each other after months of dedicated service and the close bond I feel with you. I remember checking my hand to see if it was shaking before I got out of the car; I didn’t want you to see how anxious I really was. As I was pulling in you texted me saying you would be a few minutes late and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was pleased to arrive first as it would put me more in control of the situation. As I walked to the restaurant I smiled as the men walking out to their cars turned their heads to watch me or smiled and greeted me pointedly. At least I knew my outfit was effective.

I was waiting to be taken to a table and you texted again saying you were almost there. A few minutes later a heavy set man with short greying hair came in with his face turned away and for a second I thought maybe it was you. My heart started pounding until he turned toward me, immediately scanned down to look at my legs, then finally looked up to what must have been a very confusing expression on my face as I thankfully realized it wasn’t you. They came to seat me then and I sat down alone, phone next to me, wondering what was going to happen when I first saw you. I truly didn’t know how to act when I met you. You had said I could ask for a hug. I had never had to ask men for permission to do anything to them before. Should I just say “Hi” and not touch you? Should I shake your hand? I was still ruminating on these thoughts when I saw you. And literally the next thing I knew I was in your arms.

I am blushing now typing this, My Master. That was so completely unplanned and there was not even any conscious thought behind it I swear. It just happened. I don’t even remember getting up. You were surprised, of course but not for long. You just let me feel your body and then gave me a strong firm hug back, after which I sheepishly slipped away and sat back down, blushing and beaming like a child. As I’m sure you know, I have an expressive face and my feelings are easy to read. You kindly made some pleasant small talk to calm me and smooth things over. I couldn’t help staring at you and you smirked, knowing that I was devouring you with my eyes as you took off your winter gear and sat down.

You are a very handsome man, My Master, which I already knew, but what a pleasure and relief to have it confirmed in real life. Your silver hair, strong features, dark, piercing eyes and deep yet dry, masculine voice would be enough to make any woman notice and desire you. You were relaxed, in control and polite. You were also dominant and in the best possible way. Not clumsy, heavy handed, awkward or excessive. There was no play acting although some actions were calculated. Others felt spontaneous as you allowed yourself to respond to your reading of me. You were firm, but graceful and slowly explored you hold on me over the course of the evening. It was very much the feeling of being hunted by a seasoned Wolf, who knows the prey is weak and will fall to him and therefor takes his time, enjoying the process. You touched me a lot, even right from the beginning. It felt strange at first to be handled like that, like your object but also erotic. You played with my hands, turning them over and running your fingers over my callouses from weight lifting and the life and love lines on my palm. You placed them gently palm down on the table and told me not to move. You looked deep into my eyes and then you ordered me to cum. Of course, your Property responded immediately in such a situation and you smiled slightly with pleasure, keeping your eyes locked on mine as you watched my panting response to your order in the middle of the restaurant.

All through dinner (which was excellent) we had a lovely, easy conversation, with lots of laughter. We have been talking for so long and you have allowed me to meet so many of your friends it made it easy for us to feel connected. Easier than I had even anticipated which pleased me. You were surprisingly romantic and attentive to me and I enjoyed that so much, My Master. You sent back my wine when I didn’t care for it and cut up the steak we shared, carefully choosing for me. You fed me some of the dessert with your own hand, amusing yourself by giving me orders to open and close my mouth. You played and teased and tested me gently. You made me cum again, correcting me sternly when I tried to close my eyes or look away. The third time you made me cum in public I did it perfectly, ignoring all the rest of the world as I looked at My Master’s eyes and felt the pleasure he allowed me to wash over his Property.

I excused myself to use the bathroom and enjoyed your gaze on me as I stood up for the first time and you took in a full view of your Slave. On my return you had me pause in the aisle in front of you and turn in a full circle in one direction and then another; the action commanded with just a gesture of your hand. As I rotated for your viewing in front of the entire restaurant, I caught the eye of an older man seated a few tables away who was watching the display and gave me a slightly surprised scowl of disapproval. I only blushed, smiled and sat down when I was ordered. A few minutes later you got up to go to the bathroom yourself. You told me to put my hands on the table again, palms down and not move until you came back. Then you reached over, grabbed me firmly but subtly by the back of my hair, pulled my neck back and gave it a small but sharp bite. It was the first time your lips touched my skin. I sat there in shock and joy, not moving an inch, smiling from ear to ear until you came back and asked me how it had felt to wait. And I told you the truth… it felt wonderful to wait for My Master, to be obedient to your command, my mind filled only with thoughts of you. Because by that point, I knew I wanted you to be My Master, without a shadow of a doubt on my heart any longer.

Our meal ended with cappuccino and a shared dessert and you put me on your arm as we walked to our cars. You had recognized my car and parked next to me, which made me smile. Of course by that point I was extremely aroused and desperately wanted to kiss you, smell you, lick you, suck your fingers and your cock. I knew you could feel that energy which must have been coming off me in waves. You seemed amused and yet also affected by me. You allowed me to kiss your neck and I did so with hungry lips, nibbling, licking, caressing you with my mouth, moaning slightly under my breath. I kissed your mouth and you sternly reprimanded me and explained that I had not asked permission first and I apologized immediately and sincerely in a desperate tone, just wanting more of you.

We were standing in the almost empty parking lot, arms wrapped around eachother, kissing. Your felt your Property’s round ass and reached around and began tugging gently on my Slave plug through my silky panties. I don’t know if you intended to pull it out or not, but you did, which was an interesting conundrum. The situation got immediately more interesting as I then looked over your shoulder and saw a police cruiser driving past us as it circled the lot. We both giggled at the situation, still holding eachother as we waited for the police to drive off. Then you simply bent me over in the parking lot, pulled up my skirt and stuck my plug back in FC3 while I moaned and pushed FC3 against the pressure, sighing as I felt it slide into place…certainly a first for this Slave. You carefully pulled my skirt down, then held me with my back against you as you squeezed my tits. My ass was rubbing against you and I could feel your rock-hard, thick cock through your pants. I wanted to suck it so badly, My Master, more than anything. I ground my ass firmly against your cock and you allowed me to for a few seconds before turning me around and kissing me deeply again, biting my tongue as I moaned in pleasure.

I apologize as now I started to get subby and I don’t remember the order of events as clearly. We were still in the parking lot. I have no idea if other people were around, I could only focus on you, you filled my mind. You opened my car door and had me sit on the seat facing you with my legs open; you thrust your knee against my crotch and told me to hump it while I recited my Morning Prayer Mantra, which reminds me that I am a worthless cunt owned by you no matter if I am plugged, harnessed or collared. I shamelessly and eagerly bucked my hips and rubbed your wet FC2 against your hard knee, which you pressed more and more firmly against my sensitive clit while I proclaimed myself to be your cunt more and more loudly until you told me to cum and I did gasping and calling for you to come closer to me, to hold me. In response you pulled me into your arms again and kissed me, then slapped me gently across my right cheek, kissed me again, hit me again. This made me gasp with surprise and then melt in joy, smiling into your eyes after every hit, loving the mix of violence and tenderness. You told me to kneel and without a thought I did so, in the cold, dark parking lot on the rough asphalt, I knelt without hesitation or delay for the man I now knew was My Master. You offered your hand and I was honored to kiss it in submission and devotion.

You stood me back up and told me I was pretty and funny and sluttier than you expected. You wanted me to be your Slave. I breathed a sigh of relief and joy and buried my head into your chest. You gave me a few more cuddles, told me to text you when I got home and popped me into my car. You drove away, leaving behind your blissed out Pathetic Anal Slut Slave, FC3 plugged by your hand, FC2 wet and hungry, FC1 longing for the taste of your cock. A Slave at peace and in awe of her luck at being chosen to be Owned by you, My Lord.

Update 11/22/20

Posted on by Avertas

“Thinking back, what 10 months

*Screenshot of our original conversation after Matching on an online dating site*

Did you think you would be here then?”

Never in a thousand years did I imagine a relationship as wonderful as this, My Master

I didn’t know anything

About myself

About what I was capable of

About serving a true Master

I’m so very lucky to have been chosen by you, My Lord

“True

And thank you for being open to such a relationship”

I think of all the boring, inexperienced Doms I could have ended up with

Yuck

“You would have Dominated him within a month

Or Less”

Yep 🙂 🙂 🙂

I feel safe with you, My Master

Your Dominance is natural to you and yet you have developed it and educated yourself

I think I present some challenges but that will just keep you interested, My Master

They are also opportunities

“Challenges are good

Plus your Huntress nature is just whip cream on an already yummy cake”

Homecoming

It has been a challenging month as we edge closer to the end of a challenging year…but as you say, challenges are good, My Master. I have not been writing the blog as I had an abrupt increase in my work responsibilities that required me to work longer hours and also be isolated from my family and friends. I also was working though a period of feeling distant from you, uncertain of your interest in me outside of as a trophy and a potential source of group sex, insecure about whether we were truly a good match and if either of us would be satisfied in our dynamic.

As I have observed many times over the past ten months, when there is tension in our relationship, the first thing to go for me are the command orgasms, followed by the desire to submit. Acts of submission are uncomfortable, unnatural and anxiety provoking when I don’t feel sure about being your Slave, like praying when your heart is full of doubt. I stopped praying when I was 12 because I hated that feeling of being fake. But I still went to church and sat politely in the pew, because that was expected of me and I knew my role. Similarly I have never stopped kneeling, following the rules and performing our Rituals everyday regardless if my heart is in them because I respect my role as your Slave which I have agreed to and in my opinion this is part of it. The discipline, consistency and dedication to keep getting on your knees for your Dom even when it isn’t easy, when you don’t feel connected, when you feel stupid and unhappy and lost.

Because we are adults and we have both worked hard on building communication in this relationship we were able to talk about what was going on. It is the same pattern we have seen multiple times now. You get stressed, bored, distracted, busy and withdraw your energy and attention. I notice immediately (like any good needy little sub), try to give you space, wait for you to come back, get panicky when you don’t, increase my acts of service hoping to gain your attention and praise. When that doesn’t work I feel rejected, hurt and angry, suspicious that you have found another sub who is more interesting, scared that I am going to get hurt even worse. So I then withdraw to protect myself, no longer feel safe, no longer able to submit with my whole heart because I am not sure of my place with you. This is all worsened a thousand fold by high stress in both our lives, lack of privacy limiting direct communication and a lot of uncertainty about what our relationship will even look like when we meet in real life. I freely admit that I am highly sensitive to feeling rejected right now as I am struggling with feeling undesired and rejected in my marriage.

We talked and we listened to each other. I asked you to please let me know when you need to step back because you are stressed and overwhelmed. That feels better for me and it is a normal thing to need a break. Being a Dom requires a lot of energy; it’s okay to not always have that. If I don’t know the reason for the changes in you, I will assume it is something wrong with me, that I am displeasing you in some way, that you are looking to replace me and that those feelings are damaging to the dynamic. Since that conversation things have improved immensely. You were reassuring that you don’t want to release me from your service. I explained why I was no longer orgasming on your command and my general lack of submissive feelings at that time. After few days of increased effort on both sides at attending to the relationship we had a good session where you re-established your dominance and control over me, calling me on video chat, putting me on my knees and then on my belly on the floor in obedience and worship of you, My Master. I had been waiting for you to do it as part of your duties as the Dominant and necessary to the healing of the breach in our dynamic. It was beautiful to feel that connection to you again, My Master. To kneel and obey My Master, safe in the knowledge that I am chosen to serve him. That he sees and values my dedication and the gift of my submission is not worthless.

Then both our worlds got crazy as you entered the last phases of preparing to return home and I was swept up in the stress of life. And suddenly it’s here, you’re on the doorstep, a few days away from being local. You have decided when and where we will meet, have told me in advance that you plan to use your FC1 at minimum and that all your FC should be available, with FC3 to be stuffed with the Hush. You have asked about my feelings and I am of course, nervous and preoccupied. I know you will like me, My Master, I am not worried about that. I know that the sex part will be fine and I’m fairly confident that I will feel submissive to you in real life. Although there is a tiny part that can’t help but think, what if I don’t feel it? What if I don’t have an urge to submit to this man in the flesh? Then what? I’m sure you are smiling now, My Master, at such a silly idea.

What I am more concerned about is everything outside the sexual aspect of our BDSM dynamic. The parts of you that you have not shared much but which you cannot hide if we are going to spend time together doing more that just kinky sex (and I am so much looking forward to the kinky sex!). We are sort of in a 24/7 thing, My Master, which is easy to maintain when we are just texting and exchanging sexy pics and nasty porn clips but how about when we spend four hours together having lunch and watching a movie? This is where I have no experience with how to act as your sub and also your friend and lover. I hope that you will be patient with me as we figure out that part, who we are to each other outside of the sex and kink and how we interact. It’s okay that we don’t have an answer to that and it will take some time because in that aspect of things we are just beginning, even though other parts of our relationship are so intense and well developed.

So meeting you is a strange and new thing for me, My Master. I have never been in a long distance relationship before and just that part, meeting someone I have been talking to for almost a year would be nerve wracking enough. But for it to be My Master, a man I have given so much power to, a man I have longed for, a man I have dreams and hopes about, a man that I respect and desire…well, of course, I am a mess. But also excited and hopeful. The only way out is through and I cannot wait for this week to go by. I long for the moment I can be with you, be claimed by you in the flesh and for everything to begin.

9/14/20-9/20/20

Posted on by Avertas

Good morning, My Master

Thank you for these images

It doesn’t appear likely that my hook obsession will be reduced in the future, My Master

The only thing I am more obsessed with is My Master’s beautiful, hard cock

“Along with your Owner’s wishes”

Your wishes are my desires, My Master

“That’s my Slave and my Property

I told you, that you would love the Hook”

Of course you were right, My Master

You know my mind and body so well

Bc it is all your Property

You pay attention to it and now you know what pleases it, My Master

“It’s not always about pleasing my Property

It’s usually about using it and having my cum drip from it

Marking it.

With cane or bite marks”

Yes, of course, My Master

But you are correct that the Hook pleases me, My Master

And being Used and dripping My Master’s cum will too

“Mmmmm

Filling my FC3.

….

As I record the cum dripping as I spank, cane, flog my slave

Would you like that gift, Slave *real name*”

Yes, My Master

I am your three-hole, FC Playground

I am your Property, My Master

__________________________________________

I wasn’t sure if it ever got to you, My Wolf

And I like them to be surprises if possible

“I know

Which I also love”

I know; a good Slave also pays attention to what pleases her Master

And I am blessed with a wonderful Master

I always want you to know how much I appreciate your Ownership of me, My Master

You have given me so much, My Lord

“Cum, My Property

Cum, you worthless, pathetic, Wonderful Treasure”

An Evening with Friends

I have gradually but consistently been introduced to several of your friends now, which has done a lot to reassure me that you are sincere in your interest in keeping me in your life upon your return. It has also been reassuring to meet other normal people who like you and have known you for years. I have been enjoying chatting with a friend of yours who is a female sub and we went out to breakfast together a week or so ago and got along quite well.

This week you asked if I would be interested in meeting a friend who does therapeutic hypnosis. I have some experience with hypnosis and love having novel experiences, so I was happy to agree to see him for help with my “anxiety”. He invited me over to his house and I arrived bearing two boxes of wine, as a gift from you, My Master and a bottle of rum as a gift from myself. We hit it off immediately and your friend, who is social and extroverted, made me feel right at home. Unexpectedly another friend of yours, also a Dom, was at the house with his female Sub/girlfriend and we were introduced. It was very fun to hear your friends teasing you and reminiscing about things you had done in the past. I like to learn more about you and understand you better. It also felt validating that things I enjoy or get frustrated about with you are similar to the observations and experiences of others who know you well. This makes me feel like perhaps my perception of you is more accurate than I had thought.

I had my hypnosis and your friend had some trouble identifying a target to work on with me, which he said was quite unusual for him. He eventually decided to have me do a vivid visualization and visit myself as a child, speak to my child self and embrace her, bringing her innocence and hopefulness back into my adult self. It was a lovely hypnosis and I was easily induced as I have done self hypnosis in the past. It was amusing that as we were doing hypnosis, we could clearly hear your Dom friend doing an impact session with his sub upstairs. It made me feel a bit jealous, to be honest my Master, but it also made me feel like I was with people who understood me.

We all drank more wine, a fire was built and cookies were eaten and a lively conversation was underway. Your friends were funny, welcoming and interested in me and there was a general sense of my being somewhat unexpected or atypical, although not in a bad way. They seemed to particularly like that I am a Switch and have a professional career. Your friend said that you, My Master, were “mistaken about me”, a comment I do not fully understand, but it makes me a little nervous, wondering what you have told them about me, My Master and what you think I am like. The female sub was quite pretty and very quiet and submissive; very different from your Slave, My Master. I paid her several compliments, hopefully tastefully, and enjoyed watching her. I got a little buzzed from all the wine and hopefully didn’t say anything too stupid. I realized it was getting late and switched to water so I would be safe to drive home.

Your Dom friend was particularly interested in my experiences as a Switch and that I have had a female Sub in the past. I went to use the bathroom and when I came back, he intercepted me alone in the kitchen, taking me by the arm and asking me privately if I would be interested in spanking his Sub. I was, of course, very flattered. And, as I am sure you are not surprised, I would have liked to do it, because I was attracted to her and it has been a long time since I got to play with a sub woman. The first thing I asked him was if he had your permission. When he told me that you hadn’t responded to his text asking, I realized that as fun as it might be, it was a bad idea. One, it was late and time for me to leave. Two, I felt like I didn’t necessarily want to have that be my first impression with your friends. Three, I was pretty horny and didn’t want to put myself in a situation where I would make a mistake. Several times that night I wished you were there with me but most of all at that moment. I would have loved to look to you for approval and permission, for guidance. You weren’t there in person, but you have shaped my mind, heart and behavior such that I knew what you would want from me. You are always with me now.

So, I did what I knew was the right thing and declined the tempting offer, gathered my things, thanked the gracious host and drove home after a lovely evening spent with new friends. Thank you for giving me a chance to grow closer to you through incorporating me more and more into your life, My Master. Thank you for all your hard work instilling more sexual self control into me and improving me so that I may bring you honor as your obedient and respected Slave.

Adventures with FC3

Earlier this week I finally received the anal hook I had ordered a month or so ago. Along with it I had ordered my first inflatable dildo with the intention of using it for anal play, although right now you have it blown up in FC2 while FC3 is plugged and I write this blog; putting delicious pressure throughout your stuffed holes with just a thread of discomfort. The tubing is lying against my slick clit and rubbing everytime I shift my weight and this is making me so horny. You are also tormenting me this morning with images of your cock pre and post grooming, so that your smooth balls and thick shaft are on my mind but sadly not yet in my mouth, where I want them to be so badly. I cannot wait to lick and suck them, on my knees, perhaps with a Kitten or Toy to help make it even more fun, our tongues swirling together over your hardness while we smile and suck and kiss.

You had suggested the anal toys to me a long time ago but it took a while for them to come. When I told you I finally had the anal hook, you immediately asked me to put it in, tie a rope harness and wear it to the store, which was intimidating as I had never tried a hook or a self tie before. I requested permission to play with it privately first, which you graciously granted. I had thought you might offer to play with me when I asked and received permission to use FC3 and my new toys on Friday night but sadly you did not. I do so miss direct play, My Master. While I enjoy texting and exchanging pictures and videos, nothing compares to being under your direct verbal instruction and your quick and vigorous correction.

You did ask me to send you photos of my play, which I appreciated, since of course, I was excited and who else could I share my explorations with but my Dom? I did a thorough cleanout of FC3, arranged to have some privacy and set up my room with my large mirror, towels, lube and my new anal hook, inflatable and the satisfier. I put on a hot pink quarter cup bra that exposed my nipples and a pair of suspender fishnets with no panties. I admired myself in the mirror and sent you a picture of my set up, then pulled out my Slave plug. I was aroused already by setting up; I enjoy the preparation phase and you had been edging me throughout the day while having me stare at an image of a beautiful naked man, fully erect, kissing a white woman while getting his dick sucked by a black woman who was staring up at him adoringly. I was texting you on and off throughout this play and you were responding pretty quickly, which really increased the fun for me.

I started by lubing up and inserting the inflatable into FC3. It was a little tricky to get the soft, floppy, slippery balloon-like dildo in place and I giggled trying to slide it in there unsuccessfully, but eventually I seated it and began pumping it up. The sensation was unique in that it doesn’t stretch FC3 open but rather fills the rectum and puts pressure on it. I pumped it up pretty high to see what I could tolerate and explore the sensation. You gave me permission to play with my aching clit and try to orgasm with it in but it did start to get uncomfortable which was distracting to me and you suggested letting it deflate a bit, which made it more pleasureable to me again. I loved how it looked plugged in FC3, with the hose coming out and my pink, wet FC2 beneath. I watched myself in the mirror, on my hands and knees, ass stuffed and stretched full and my fingers stroking my slippery folds, dipping in and out of FC2. I sent you this image and you told me to fuck FC3. I smiled and retrieved the dildo you suggested I use, removed the inflatable, which slipped out easily once deflated and started fucking your Property in its open, lubed up FC3, pushing the dildo in and out rhythmically while watching myself in the mirror and moaning in pleasure. I love seeing a woman get fucked in the ass, including myself, My Master.

The dildo I chose has lots of texture and the sensation of FC3 being stretched open again and again, with all the little nubs and grooves running over the sensitive, tight hole were maddeningly pleasurable. I wanted to cum just from how well I was fucking your FC3 but you had not given permission. I sent you a message thanking you for letting me use your fuck cunt and asking permission to have an anal orgasm, along with video of my activities. You granted me permission to cum twice, the first orgasm ripped through me as soon as I read the message and the second not far behind as I put the dildo on the ground and bounced up and down on it, slamming it deeply inside as I rode it until I came again so hard, feeling FC2 clenching and spasming in response to the rough abuse of FC3. I laughed in delight as I reached down and felt how dripping wet FC2 was, pussy juice covering my hand like snail slime.

Next, it was time for the hook. I have been preoccupied with using an anal hook since you first showed me an image of one months ago. Something I never even knew existed before you and certainly never would have had the courage to try. Look how far you have taken me, My Master! Initially hooks frightened me and excited me with the brutal way they look. Now I am definitely more excited by them than frightened although there is an element of humiliation (meat hook imagery) I appreciated and enjoy. And you know I love anal use, so it is no surprise that this toy is something I have been looking forward to trying. This one is a cheap thing, aluminum and light and with two exchangable head sizes for the ball at the end of the hook. I had showed it to you with the balls in the palm of my hand for reference and we agreed that the small one would be manageable for your FC3.

After the previous rigorous use, FC3 was well opened and after applying a little more lube, the hook slipped right in easily. I loved seeing FC3 stretch open to accept it and how it looked snug in between my round buttocks. It felt so good and I loved the way it pulled at FC3 when I moved. I had my shibari rope and fashioned a sloppy harness with it to hold the hook against my waist. I sent you pics and you expressed approval, then had me kneel and recite my Loyalty Mantra while staring into my own eyes in the mirror. Then you led me through some questions, reminding me that I was your Slave Property, that I was only to be used by yourself, my husband and my approved play partner/s (approved by you) and making me cum while I watched myself, kneeling and hooked. I put some clothing on top, a pair of jean shorts and a loose open neck sweater you had recently chosen for me and took pictures which I posted online for my own amusement, with no mention of the fact that I was secretly wearing the hook and harness underneath. You know how I love to feel like a naughty girl with a dirty secret, My Master.

The next day I was preparing to go shopping, and as is my habit (? rule), I texted to let you know, in case you had any Task you wanted me to do on the trip. You often use these shopping trips as convenient times for Public play, by having your FC2 and/or 3 stuffed with vibes, weights or dildos and giving me public orgasms or other tasks (kneeling, touching myself subtly etc). I enjoy this immensely and was not surprised at all when you told me I was going to take a “hook stroll” that day. I pulled out my Slave plug, lubed and inserted the hook again, this time attaching it to a slim leather belt to avoid a bulky rope harness under my clothing. I threaded the belt through the front loops of my jeans and threw on a modest cardigan. I sent you a pic of my work and you approved, telling me to post a pic of your hooked FC3 on Fet as a show of obedience which I immediately did.

FC3 was a bit sore and I had the belt tight, pulling hard on it so that it became quite painful by the time I entered the store. I was grimacing and struggling to remember my shopping list while enduring the humiliation and discomfort. I was surprised because I had not found the hook very painful the night prior but I realized that if I loosened the belt a bit, it became far more tolerable and even pleasurable again at times although mixed with pain from my now sore and tender FC3. I started texting with you in the store and you immediately began giving me commands to cum. Again and again you ordered me to orgasm while I walked around the store, feeling the hook shifting and pulling inside me, feeling the wetness begin to drip out of FC2 and soaking into my thong. I tried to hide what was happening as the store was busy and crowded. Men were watching me, chatting with me, in my tight jeans and low cut peasant blouse despite the modest cardigan on top. I felt tortured as every time you made me cum, FC2 and 3 would clench down, thus increasing the pain. Yet I was so aroused that I wanted more orgasms despite it. I felt frantic and slipping into subspace. I texted you and you took me farther, reminding me of my position in life and contrasting it with my current situation of a pathetic fuck puppet, hooked and cumming in her panties in public at her Master’s command. You had me rub my hooked ass against my cart for a count of 15, which I did, while a middle aged man twenty feet away looked for vitamins, feeling it moving up and down, wiggling in the sore, abused, stretched hole, so sensitive now to even the tiniest sensations. When you texted that I was your Slave and always being trained by you, My Master, it just catapulted me right into subspace and I had an intense impulse to kneel in obedience and service. You had me do so, briefly but correctly, on the hard tiles of the store and you made me cum a final time like that, completely at your mercy and consumed. When I got home, I sent you a picture of my soaked through panties and you called me a Slut. The next morning you thoughtfully asked how FC3 was feeling and if I had slept well. You are so wonderful, My Master. I don’t want anyone or anything else. How can you know so well what I need? You are just right for me.

Weekly Update 8/31/20-9/6/20

Posted on by Avertas

“Good Morning, Slave,

How is my property feeling this morning?”

Much better after actually sleeping eight hours, My Master

Thank you for sending me to bed 🙂

“Was she obedient last night and went bed as instructed?”

Yes My Master and I slept really well, thank you

“Of course

How did that make you feel?”

A little silly bc obviously I knew I needed to go to bed early, My Master

But at the same time…

“Knowing and Doing are drastically different things”

It did force me to actually do it and not just goof around and get distracted, My Master

Bc I probably would have gone to bed around 1130 on my own, My Master

And I felt cared about

By you

Bc you were paying attention to me and helping me take better care of your Property, My Master

“Cum, My Pathetic Property”

Thank you for the orgasm, My Master

“My Property to Use”

Yes, My Master, use, abuse, shape, punish, reward

As you have already begun, My Master

I wonder if it will be even better in person

It’s going to be intense, My Master

I can’t wait

“You will be much better at begging in person, my fuck toy”

I have no doubt that I will be motivated to beg as I have never been before, My Master

Bc no one has ever treated me the way that you do

And no one else is allowed to, My Wolf

But you may push me to the limit

I am yours, My Lord

Influence, Dominance, Control

So insidious are your ways, My Master. Even your tenderness has an edge hiding in it somewhere…this week you ever so subtly expanded your control over me. I’m such a visual person; in my mind when I give over something to your control it’s like a soft grey blanket that creeps over the landscape of my life, slowly covering more and more under your influence. Warm and quiet and soft in those areas of my life under that blanket, because I no longer have to try so hard there. In those parts of my life I can rest now. You will decide and tell me what to do. All I have to do is listen and obey. It feels so good and yet, it frightens me at times, how I keep falling deeper into submission to you, how I keep welcoming it.

First you told me that you wanted me to pick up some quarter cup bras to wear when I am with you. Bras that would leave the breasts pushed up but with nipples uncovered and visible beneath my clothing. Of course, I agreed, but told you I had to wait until my bra size stabilized after my recent surgical upgrades. Then you began sending me images of women in specific outfits. Dresses that unzipped down their entire length, either in the front or the back, wrap dresses held together with a single tie, backless body suites that would have to be worn braless, low cut, surplice tops that open easily to the waist, blouses made of sheer materials, crop tops tied on by only thin straps, skin tight leather pants. Of course, I quickly realized the goals of this project and, like a good Slave, I happily found dresses and blouses online and sent them to you for your approval before purchasing them.

I am sure you know that I love this new element of being dressed like your doll. I love clothing and fashion and looking beautiful. I love feeling like an object, a treasured, decorated, OWNED object. The clothing you have picked is so provocative. I love the thought of the jealous, hateful glares of the women, who will be thinking “That Slut, she’s too old to be dressed like that; she just wants attention”. I love the thought of the men who will watch my every move with hunger in their eyes, turning their heads to watch me pass, trying to hide it from their wives and girlfriends, shifting in their seats as they notice my hard nipples pushing against the thin, light fabric of the blouse you have chosen. But most of all I love the thought of your hand on the small of my back guiding me, your amused smirk at the reaction I create, the firm grip of your hand on my wrist as you lead me, your dark eyes leaving me with only confidence that if this is how you wish me to look, then that is the right and best way, of course. That whatever beauty I have to offer is yours to claim and to display at your pleasure.

And the excitement of not knowing how you will use your Property, made so enticing and so easily exposed at your command. You might have me pinch and twist my nipples before we leave the car, to make sure they are hard and noticeable. How easily it will be to have me open my blouse and expose my breasts for you at a book store or park. You could slide one hand inside my wrap dress and stroke your FC2 while we wait in a quiet booth for a late lunch. You could unzip my dress and leave me in just heels and thigh highs in the back row of a movie theatre and force me to stay like that, open, exposed. Or force me to get on my hands and knees on the dirty floor with my dress opened so you could rest your legs for a bit. You could plug your FC3 with a hook tied to my waist and bring me to a gas station in the late hours of the night, leaving enough exposed above the waist band of my skirt that those who know about such things would understand what had been done to me and what I am. I am your Property, My Master, your three hole, fuck cunt playground. I am your Slave.

You have also discussed more permanent decoration and marking of your Slave, including a small tattoo or a piercing with tags indicating my status. I am not particularly interested in tattoos but find the idea of a piercing more intriguing. You have asked me to look up and consider a piercing of FC2 at some point in the future. Personally, I would prefer a piercing of the inner labia, which looks attractive and would not interfere with or exaggerate my sexual sensations. It would be intensely erotic for me to be tagged in such a way with your initials, the word “Slave” or “Owned” or similar. Of course, my body is not just used by you, My Master and as such, there would have to be a discussion with my husband about his thoughts and feelings about such a change. It is delicate work being so strongly connected to two such different men.

You have also begun to gently explore controlling other aspects of my life. In the past you have tried to limit how much time I spend at work, which is interesting but difficult as I don’t have a lot of control over problems which can arise at work and have to be dealt with regardless of the time. This week you gave me a firm time I needed to be off of the internet and a bedtime after a rough week of little sleep due to illness, work duties and insomnia. It did help me to have that external requirement to guide me as I am obedient to you in all things. I appreciated you checking in on how I felt about it the next morning. I felt a little demeaned and childish, a little cared for and a lot grateful for your help. As usual, your response was to claim the whole thing and tell me that henceforth, you would be giving me bedtimes on “schoolnights” to help make sure your Property wasn’t staying up too late, a habit that has given you some concern in the past. This pattern is so typical to you, My Master that I wasn’t even surprised. You often take a little bite of something, see if we like it and then, if I do, you grab the whole cake without a seconds hesitation. I love that boldness about you, My Master; I find that confidence very appealing.

A Test

I have a former lover, now friend, who I dated last fall, prior to ever meeting you, My Master. You are aware of him and knew that we continued to communicate through text. This relationship was one of my first outside of my marriage and this man became very attached to me. So much so that he admitted he had come to both “love and hate me” because he had to accept that he would never be able to fully have me as his primary partner. He is an intense and emotional person, a romantic and going through a difficult time in his personal life. He pulled back on the sexual and romantic aspects of our relationship, which I understood and accepted and we remained friends. Despite the end of quarentine, we have not met again in real life, although continue to update each other on our life events, chatting about our children, our work and our various relationships. He finds my lifestyle fascinating and struggles to understand how my husband can allow me the freedom he does. This man is aware of our relationship and that I would need approval from you to see him again, which he finds bizarre. He is vanilla, although has a dominant personality and is sexually dominant. He is one of the reasons I realized I enjoy being dominated, actually.

Over the past few months he has intermittently dropped hints about wanting to take me out again, both to see me and to have sex. He has admitted that I surprised him with my sexual energy and drive and he misses my attention, humor and affection. I have never approached you about seeing him again because I did not want to upset you or cause distress and drama in our relationship. It was not worth it to me and I have focused all my energy on proving to you my dedication and rebuilding your trust in me, My Master. I continually put him off despite him asking if I had talked to you about it and “gotten a permission slip” as he puts it. The other night he texted me late. I knew he had been drinking and was lonely and probably depressed. He was very open about my being one of the most important people in his life right now, someone he feels he can trust. He misses me and doesn’t understand why we can’t meet. I reminded him of what had happened in my relationship with you when I had taken another play partner and that I was being very careful. He offered to just meet as friends, reassuring me that he could control himself. And that is true, My Master, he has excellent self control when he wants to.

So I have finally approached you about it and you were surprised that I had delayed it for so long. I explained that I had done so because at times I find your reactions to my outside relationships unpredictable. It’s very important to me that I not do anything, even accidentally, that upsets you or takes us backwards in terms of the trust and repair we have made in the past several months. Especially as we both begin getting ready to finally meet in person. You were surprised by the term “unpredictable” but that is how I feel. I have mixed messages from you about other men. You want them to look at me and desire me but at the same time you call me an attention whore and a flirt. You want me to make friends in the lifestyle but you become anxious that I might seduce them or disobey you. You remind me “FBNF”, “Forgiven but not Forgotten”, in reference to my past failings. Of course, I am going to be reluctant to bring you my struggles and worries about the desires and demands of other men, My Master. I don’t want to do anything that might make you uncertain or anxious about my dedication to you as your Slave.

All this has been on my mind at the same time, I felt like I was being cruel and rude to my friend. So I finally felt forced into the position of asking you for guidance about what I should do next or risk really losing this friendship. You have graciously given me permission to see him again, strictly platonically, which is fine with me. I know that you will be watching me like a hawk to ensure that I don’t slip into any inappropriate behaviors with this man and I understand and accept why. I know he won’t understand the difficulties he is putting me through, and I am sure much of our conversation when we meet again will be trying to explain to him why I kneel to you and allow these restrictions. Of course I don’t need to explain those things to myself or to you. I know to my core how much you bring to my life. The pleasure, peace, excitement, challenge and understanding that I cannot get from anyone else. You are a rare and unique man and I am so happy being your Pet, your P.S.S. I promise that I will not be tempted away from my happy place, My Master. I would rather be here at your feet than anyplace else in the world.

Weekly Update 8/24/20-8/31/20

Posted on by Avertas

“Cum”

Thank you for the orgasm, My Master

I know you will love to see me crawling and crying and begging you to let me cum, My Master

“Mmmmm

Begging for her Owner to use his Property”

Yes, not so pretty and polished then

“Begging to hump his foot just for a sample of her Lord”

The real me, Slave *Real Name*

“Cum”

Thank you for the orgasm, My Master

I want you so bad, My Master

This longing is terrible

“It’s lovely

Builds

Pet”

“Have you ever longed for another like this?”

Never, My Master

I have always just been in the moment and taken what I wanted

Or induced someone to take me, My Master

“And, now this situation”

It’s crazy and wonderful, My Master

“Just like sitting on command like a good mutt.

O

I mean cumming on command”

You want to hear a secret, My Master?

“Only if you want to share it”

Sometimes I get scared that as much as I hate this distance, this will be the best part

Bc this is really good

And I feel like things will get so complicated

“Is that a secret

Or

A secret fear”

A secret fear, My Master

…………………….

“Kneel”

Yes, My Master

“Back strait.

Tits out.”

“What are you?”

“Cum”

“….waiting”

I am your Property, My Master

“Who are you?”

“Cum”

I am Slave *Real Name*

“What is your purpose?

“Cum”

To serve you, My Master

“Good girl

Then let go of your fear”

Yes, My Master

“I am.

Who I am”

“Your Master

Your Owner

Your User”

“Cum”

Thank you for the orgasms, My Master

“Go to bed.

Sleep and rest”

Claimed

When you say that I have always been a Slave, that I just didn’t know it, that I hadn’t met you, My Owner, yet. I sigh and roll my eyes and yet a little part of me loves it. I am a practical woman, a woman of action, decision and problem solving. I am not prone to daydreams, nor do I believe in mystical powers, eternal connections or deities of any type. The idea of belonging to you before I even knew you is a romantic one. I admit it makes me smile and think you are ridiculous and yet also I love to hear you say it.

This week you were approached again by a local Dom on Fet, seeking my assistance with his rambunctious young Sub. He had also messaged me, asking if he had gotten me in trouble by approaching me initially (he had not, of course as this was prior to putting up the announcement that all inquiries as to my potential use were to go directly to my Owner). I informed him that as an Owned Slave it was proper for him to address My Master about my use, rather than myself directly. It gave me a dirty thrill to write those words. That little cringey, subby feeling that I get when I do or say something particularly “Slave”, especially if it comes from something I am doing or chosing to do myself without your direct instruction. Enslaving myself, I guess you would say. Truly embracing my Slave nature.

For example, the other day, we had been texting after work and I told you I was going into the store to grab a few things, knowing that sometimes you give me Tasks to do there. You were surprised and pleased (perhaps?) that I had done so, pointing out that it was Slave behavior, to check if My Master wanted to use me for his amusement in my day to day life. More and more I am drawn to such behavior, My Master. It goes against all the qualities I champion as an independent, professional, highly educated woman who did not look to her father for guidance and sees her husband as her equal. It is subversive, old fashioned, traditional, something a weak willed, pathetic little girl would do, right, My Master? Look for guidance, seek help, ask for attention, offer herself to be played with. Naughty, naughty…and it turns me on like crazy.

In response to the request for permission to use your Slave by the other Dom (which I assume was denied, as I heard nothing more about it), you casually announced I should change my name on Fet. I had been humbled in the past after breaking your rules by changing my name to one reflecting my lowered status. Now I was to be claimed and recognized. You told me that my devotion was such that you felt ready to make such a change. Of course I was thrilled to be so named and symbolically exonerated (Forgiven but never Forgotten, I remember, My Master). I promise to be worthy of such a gesture, My Master. To continue to demonstrate my devotion and adoration of you through all the ways available to me now to amuse, seduce, flatter and please you and most importantly, to honor your title as my Lord and Master through my honesty, loyalty and obedience.

Gratitude for My Master

I will limit my discussion of the issues occurring in my marriage right now out of respect for privacy but I do want to acknowledge that over the past week I have experienced some challenges in this important relationship. Initially I attributed these to a reaction to my growing identity as a Slave and the coming changes in the next few months as we will be finally together, My Master. But after a lot of communication, I now know that the situation is more personal and complex than that. In the process of working through these issues, I appreciate your support, My Master. Your reminders to stay true to my own path and honor my needs were respectful and needed. In the process of working on my other relationship, I realized how much help and guidance you have given me over the past six months and how much work, time and commitment that takes. It is a major undertaking and one for which I will always be grateful to you, My Lord. You are my first Master and you have shaped me immensely, much for the better, in my opinion.

You have opened my mind to many new sexual ideas and kinks that before felt too scary or gross to acknowledge my interest. You have gently banished prudery and helped me process shame. You have pushed my limits time and time again (and I know that this is only the tip of the iceberg!). You have taken the time and mental energy to build an intense psychological connection between us, so that I, despite my independence and personal authority, look to you now in times of uncertainty. You have inspired me with your experience and knowledge and I have handed over control of many of my sexual behaviors to you. You have put me on my knees and taught me to serve, both physically and mentally. More and more you are also showing me some tenderness, concern for my health, my sleep, my self care. You gave me a Mantra to focus me during this time and that was very meaningful to me.

In my conversation with my partner, I actually said out loud, “I am so lucky, because I have *Your Real Name* to help me”. I am a lucky girl because everyday I get to be your Pathetic Slut Slave.

Personal Health Mantra

It is not only MY responsibility to find a happy middle ground for all!

MY whole self Needs are equally important.

I will work in union with those I love to find solutions that respect my needs and desires.

Weekly Update 8/3/20-8/9/20

Posted on by Avertas

“So 100 strokes with Satisfyer and no orgasm?”

Correct, My Master

As Instructed

“Impressed, you have earned freebies

Enjoy”

Well I told you I would be able to

…..

“Wellll..

It seems my Slave DOES have will power when it IS important.”

You are so important to me, My Master

I wish you could forgive my mistake

But I will keep trying to show you how much I regret it and improve

I’ll take my shower now if that’s ok

“Forgive, yes.

Forget, never.”

I understand

Good night, My Master

“Good night, My Treasure”

———————————————————————

Thank you, My Master

Your training is taking effect

“You have a long road ahead of you, My Cunt

Crawling.

Worshiping my body

Cumming on command at parties as you hump my foot or boot”

I am your Property and to be used as pleases you best, My Master

“Good girl”

I put myself in your power to be shaped, used, abused, pleasured but always in service to you

“And, here only a few months ago you did not even believe in Remote Control orgasms

Nor

That you were a slave”

My life has changed so much

It’s not at all what I expected

But here I am

“It is rarely what we expect it to be, My Treasure”

Even so, you draw me like a magnet, My Wolf

Anxiety about the Future; Regret about the Past

At the beginning of the week, before I had my cosmetic surgery, you had me perform one more physical Task for you, a variant of Full, which requires me to fill all your Fuck Cunts at once with dildos for a certain number of strokes, if possible concluding with an orgasm with all the cunts stuffed. This is a technically challenging task and can be unpleasant as you encourage me to practice deep throating with FC1 during it. You have been edging me aggressively for the past few weeks to improve orgasm control amongst other things. To test that control we agreed to add on an extension to the task of 100 strokes in FC3 while using the Satisfier on your clit to see if I would be able to do it without orgasming. You clearly thought I would fail, My Master, while I had complete confidence that I could do it and enjoyed being a little “sassy” to you in response to your doubts. We were texting a bit during the Task and after I announced that I had achieved the goal, I hoped you would take the opportunity to perhaps call me briefly or take over and give me some guided orgasms but you were distracted and did not. I was disappointed because I knew that after the surgery I would not be able to play with you for some time nor had you asked to play with me for weeks, but I took it in stride. I reminded myself that I was a Slave and my pleasures are dependent on my Master’s wishes and so, with no orgasm after fucking all your holes thoroughly I cleaned my toys with a dripping, unsatisfied FC2 and started getting ready to take a shower in preparation for my procedure in the morning.

While I was undressing you texted, and we had the exchange above. I was naked, plug loose in your stretched FC3, clit still aching for release, somewhat anxious and guilty about the surgery in the morning and looking at my body in its current form for the last time, wondering if I was making a mistake, wondering how painful and difficult the recovery would be, how much it would inconvenience my family, if it would be worth the money, if I was selfish and stupid for doing this. Initially, your texts caused their usual schoolgirl rush of happiness and your praise made me smile and glow with pride and pleasure. But then, as has happened so many times, you twisted my hand, that I thought you were holding so gently in your steely grip, bringing me to tears and to my knees with your keen observation of my failings. That little comment about being able to control myself when I thought it was important enough to do so, hit me like a truck. I obviously knew you were referencing my breaking of my promise to you about sex with my play partner. I gently put down the phone and melted to the floor, curled up, quietly sobbing so no one else would hear, feeling like I would never truly be free of your doubt and disdain for that error, that you would always cast that in my face, even when I thought that I had pleased you. How can I defend myself from the truth, My Master? It will always be true that I failed you and I lay open my heart to you to be lashed a thousand times, My Lord, if that gives you solace.

Did you know that you had struck me so hard, My Master? Because we mostly communicate by text, I can still hide my hurts and joys from you. You don’t see the times the phone is flung across the bed in frustration. You don’t see me kiss the screen or sigh in bliss or giggle at your joke or grimace in response to an idea for my future use. You don’t see my eyes fill with tears of regret, of confusion, of despair. I pick and choose still what picture I paint for you of myself. I send only the best selfies and the prettiest outfits. I protect myself, weakly, through these little deceits and masks, even as I continue to tumble happily down the rabbit hole of submission to you. But the time for all this will soon be drawing to an end.

Lately, we have been talking more and more about being together in real life. I have been talking with my therapist about it and everything that may or may not come to pass. I need to start talking to my husband about it at some point, although what to say to him baffles me as I barely know how to counsel myself. I am terrified for the masks to be pulled away. For you to see my true face and to look into your dark eyes and see if you will still claim me. Or if there is nothing between us and it was all words and dreams and I must armor myself again. Even now, I do not know, My Master, if you would have been pleased to see those tears from your comment hitting home, or if you would have been surprised or even concerned. It does not matter so much what your reaction would have been, My Master. The fact that I cannot predict it is what is so telling of my ignorance about you. So much about you remains a mystery and yet I cannot hold myself back from what I want to be, what I must be, WHAT I AM…Your Slave and Property.

Upgrading Property

The surgery was uneventful and strange. I was turned into a patient with a simple costume change and coddled by the jolly nurses while they filled out a thousand forms. My undesirable flesh was carefully measured, groped and marked for destruction by my beautiful surgeon who noted several flaws immediately that she casually planned to correct (my belly button was not midline and my right breast slightly larger than my left). I was reassured by a distant but capable anesthesiologist that he wouldn’t let me die when I let him breathe for me. I climbed willingly onto the surgical table, internally amused as the staff transformed me again, this time from a patient into an object needing repair, gently arranging my passive limbs and beginning to refer to me as if I was no longer there even when I still had my wits about me. But soon the good doctor unexpectedly took my hand gently in his and firmly pressed a mask over my face and told me to breathe deeply and, of course, like a good girl, I did.

I dimly recall recovery and driving home through what my husband told me later was a terrible storm. I texted you that evening and told you I was high and itchy and fine. I was wrapped tightly in bindings from my armpits to my hip bones with two clear plastic drains coming out of the bottom and the next two days I focused on sleeping, eating and enduring the usual post operative discomforts while my husband ran the household and kept me fed and hydrated. Two days after, I returned to the clinic and was unwrapped and saw my new body for the first time. While it was definitely swollen, bruised and stitched together, the APRN was pleased with the repair and even I could see the potential for a beautiful outcome in my currently somewhat macerated flesh.

You have been quite gentle with me in this period of recovery, My Master. Even before the procedure you declared that I needed to focus on rest and relieved me of being plugged, my usual Tasks and Rituals even including my morning greeting to you, which is one I have honored since very early in our relationship. You have endured my unusual dullness and lack of availability due to the surgery followed shortly by my restlessness, whining and boredom as I start to feel better and yet not well enough to return to my normal routines and service to you. You can be a patient man, My Lord. When you show your concern for your Property, it also brings me to my knees, not from Fear but from another emotion, even more dangerous and frightening to me. Thank you for your kindness to me, your Pathetic Slut Slave, while I am healing, My Wolf. You know I am eager to serve you through my beloved Rituals and challenging Tasks, be plugged again (soon!), enjoy your naughty games and share in your sexy, dirty day dreams and plans for the future.

Weekly Update 7/27/20-8/2/20

Posted on by Avertas

“Because I would hate to cut my Lamb loose

And worse lose friends over a pathetic cunt”

“Trust and Loyalty are key in my eyes”

I know this very well, My Master

I will not make a mistake, My Lord

“Do NOT test me again, Nor Tempt my friends

If I chose to loan out my cunts, I will

If not, then I will not”

I belong to you, My Wolf

I am in your hands

“I know

And your Weakness has lessened

And your Devotion has increased”

I was just typing that, My Master

The thought of hurting and shaming you like that is terrible

“Perhaps these words should be worked into a Mantra…

You wouldn’t shame me.

I would just End my relationships with all involved parties”

I understand, My Master

I would shame myself

“Consider these feelings you have

Put them to words.

And, I will spin them to my Will”

Loyalty Mantra

My Slut nature is weakness if not used in service to My Lord.

Trust, Loyalty and Obedience are key to My Master and he has trained me well.

I will not give in to weakness.

I will not shame myself.

I will not stray and cause My Wolf to leave me behind.

My actions and behavior will bring honor to him as his chosen Property.

Preparations

This week you edged me mercilessly throughout the beginning of the week. Although you were not as merciless as you could have been as you did allow me to have orgasms intermittently. I know that the intention of such edging is multifactorial. You like to keep me desperate, your FC2 aching and wet, my thoughts churning on erotic and obscene images and waiting for your permission to release. The edging also makes me more accustomed to being aroused without acting to relieve it and improves my self control and internal restraint both physically and mentally.

It becomes clear that you still do not trust your Slave to control herself in situations where I may be tempted to seduce and play with others without your permission. You have been gradually expanding my circle of contacts over the past week or so, allowing me to begin chatting with other friends of yours in the Lifestyle. I understand well the importance of behaving in such a way that I hopefully don’t annoy or overstep with your friends. I also respect that they are under no obligation to help me. I have emphasized clarifying and respecting your limits on my experiences in the Lifestyle, either with them or others.

Sometimes these limits gall me, My Master, I will admit. My husband has stated that he feels badly at times for me because my goal in opening our marriage was (partly at least) for me to explore kinky and sexy opportunities in the Lifestyle. However, instead of doing that, we all went into quarantine following which I find myself a Slave to you and no longer in a position where I am free to try new things or have adventures without your approval and permission which is challenging to obtain as I feel you prefer to oversee my introduction to new experiences yourself. Like so many things, this raises mixed feelings in me. On one hand, I like that you want to train me yourself, which is fitting and proper (as you always say) for an Owner and Master. On the other hand, sometimes I have little faith that any of that will ever come to pass, based on the many disappointments I have had trusting others, and I feel dumb for letting opportunities pass me by. I am not a patient woman and I don’t wait easily. But I am learning and I hope it is worth it. You seem most accepting of my play with other women so I have focused my energy on attempting to find a casual female partner, perhaps a sub, but that is not entirely necessary. Unfortunately, I have not been successful thus far, which is not terribly surprising as I am quite specific, picky perhaps one would say, about my partners.

In a woman I am looking for someone more petite than myself, feminine and ideally not too skinny who is reasonably intelligent, sensual and fun. She doesn’t need to be as smart as me or as kinky. I prefer if she is in another primary relationship because that takes the burden of meeting all her emotional needs off of me. I want my relationship with another woman to be playful, light and sexual. She doesn’t need to be very experienced with women, although it would be refreshing to have a girlfriend who had actually licked a pussy before. But that can be trained…This week I did have date with a woman set up but she ended up ghosting me, to my annoyance. I will keep looking however, although it is an uphill battle. Women get skittish very easily about pursuing their sexual desires in real life. They enjoy the flirting, attention and the texting but when it comes down to really making things happen, my experience is that a lot of them will disappear. I look forward to having a girlfriend again, not just for the sex but also because I miss being able to go out on dates and have fun. I know that I will not get permission to do so with male partners and it bothers me that I am stuck at home alone sometimes. However, that is part and parcel of being a Slave, being restricted from doing everything that you might do if your situation were different. The reward of my sacrifice and obedience is your continued attention and commitment to my growth and development as your submissive and the hope that future experiences in real life will be even more amazing because of the trust and connection we are developing now.

This week has been busy in preparation for a cosmetic surgery I have scheduled for early next week. This is something I have been considering for some time. As I am entering the Lifestyle and anticipate both more casual sexual partners and more public display of my body it has prompted me to move from contemplation to action. I think my body is in fairly good shape currently and I enjoy my muscular yet feminine physique. I work hard at developing my appearance through diet, exercise, grooming and dressing well and yet there are some flaws that I cannot fix without surgical correction. I have found an excellent surgeon and was surprised when I was given a relatively early surgical date to have a tummy tuck and breast lift. So this week I have been scrambling to get work coverage arranged, the necessary blood tests, mammograms, surgical clearance, payment fees etc taken care. I am not too worried about the surgery itself but the recovery is known to be quite painful and slow as it requires extensive healing. I will not be able to work, have sex or exercise, which are my favorite activities, so I anticipate a dull and irritating few weeks of surfing the internet, reading, watching TV and texting my friends. I am pleased at the promptness of the surgery though, in that it will give me more time to heal before you return to play with me and I, of course, hope that you enjoy the improvements made to your Property.

Weekly Update 7/5/20-7/12/20

Posted on by Avertas

Mmmmmmm I need a hook in meeeeee

“And, a cock

Perhaps….

I will bind your arms and secure the hook together

And then tape your wand to the hook as I let you lick my feet

If you get distracted I will crop you

And if you beg nicely

I might Allow you to hump my foot until you Scream for Permission to cum

Then…”

Yes, My Master

“Cum! You pathetic weak-minded cunt

Coat my foot

Just to lick it clean”

Oh, I would cum all over your foot, My Lord

And suck my juices off your toes

“O, I know you will”

Happiness

I just read through our texts and photos from the week and it struck me what a good week this has been. I thought about just writing “I’M HAPPY” as my blog entry and signing off this week but I’m not that lazy and why should I be able to write novels when I have criticism and only a few words to describe my joy. You deserve to know all the details of contentment and satisfaction as much as when I am struggling.

When I say things are going well, I don’t mean there have been no conflicts or issues all week but we handled them well and my feelings about them are less intense. We are communicating better and I am feeling more securely attached to you than ever, My Lord. The beginning of this week was so relaxing and fun as I was off of work and you encouraged me to enjoy the time off, giving me yet another Public task, which I even advanced in by continuing to fuck FC2 even with others present (although they could not see me). I felt playful and sexy this week, naughtily plugging myself in my car in a parking lot and sending you a little video of it. Then flouncing into the restaurant in my short skirt and thong with your plug tight in FC3, smiling at the men there who were drooling over your cute slut.

Unfortunately, of course I did eventually have to return to work and it was a rough re-entry. But you kept me happy with edging tasks and allowed extra orgasms which you know always soothes and pleases your greedy Slave. That first day back from vacation, I was stressed and happy to be leaving work. I did the Grounding ritual, which I had not done for a while as I had been plugged throughout my time off. Doing the ritual was so soothing, it felt like walking into a pool of cool water. Sinking to my knees, taking your plug in FC1 and truly sucking it, in regressive bliss. Letting my mind go calm and flat as I stared in the mirror at my true reflection. Saying the words that you put in my mouth and in my mind. And finally the stretch and weight of the plug, my “new normal” as you like to remind me, grounding me to you as I gently stroked your clit.

Something you have brought up a few times this week, which I find interesting, is the idea of me “always” having been a Slave. I would like to talk to you more about that and understand your meaning. From what you have said so far, I feel like you identify the desire to be a Slave with having low self esteem and lack of confidence. While I certainly have insecurities and moments of uncertainty I don’t self identify as having major issues with either of those problems. I was raised by my parents in a conventional way and do believe on some level that I must “earn” the love and attention of others. I was never abused or neglected though, and although I do love to be degraded and humiliated, I don’t suffer from timidity or feelings of incompetence. In fact, generally I have a robust ego (some might say too much so!) and at least in situations where I feel I have mastery over something, I will advocate strongly to be the leader. Although I believe that love and attention must be “earned”, I also believe that I am good at earning them. I have always worked hard to achieve success in multiple areas of my life and I am confident that I can continue to do so, although the areas where I direct my formidable energy change and shift over time.

I believe my Slavery and service to you come from desire to let go. To not be the leader but rather to be led. To be responsible for clearly defined tasks but not to have to make the decisions. To submit, to be claimed, to feel strengthened by the limits and restrictions placed on me by another. You take me to deeper and darker recesses than I knew I even had and I can trust you to watch over me there and lead me back. You know my weaknesses and my failings. You know to keep your hand heavy on me and the collar tight and I will repay you with all my self, now your Property. To be used is my pleasure and you will use me directly and as a tool to enjoy others through my actions both at your command and that of my own filthy mind.

Weekly Update 6/29/20-7/5/20

Posted on by Avertas

Master, could I please cum

“Why, Pet?”

Your FC2 is so close, My Master

“Why?

Doesn’t she have any self control?”

You let me play with your cunt

“Of course”

Not it’s wet and aching

“I enjoy my slave on the edge”

Please let me cum, My Master

“This is where a Slave should live

Always ready to please”

Precious

It was raining and I had been walking the dog with the Lush vibrating in FC2 for 30 minutes after you had given me permission to turn it on. It was getting dark. I was desperate to cum. You ordered me to kneel in the grass and I did so in a neighbors yard where the lights were out in the house and I hoped they wouldn’t notice. When you told me to send you a picture I tried but the light was too low. I was in the process of moving to a spot under a street light when you grew impatient and called me. I didn’t have my headphones so I had to put you on speaker. I was alone and yet exposed. Kneeling in the wet grass, rain falling, mosquitos biting my flesh, My Masters loud voice degrading me where anyone who walked by could hear me being called a Slut and a Slave. A car parked about fifty feet away, casting bright light over me from their headlights and a squabbling couple got out and looked at me. But none of that mattered because you had taken over.

You just grabbed me, My Master. You snatched my mind up like a coin you wanted to flip. I can barely remember the words you said bc I fell so fast and deep into subspace. I remember your dark eyes and being told that I could not look away. I was made to cum there on my knees in public on my nice suburban street where my neighbors could see me. I remember you telling me that they would know what I was and that I was laid bare before you. The energy in your voice when you are in that space is ferocious, the force of it is irresistible. You kept me there, wet, humiliated, exposed, cumming in my panties until you were satisfied. And then you said something very special to me; you told me that I was precious to you, even though you may not always show it. I dropped my head and looked away as I thanked you. I felt like a 14 year old girl. I got off the call and slowly got up from the grass, looking around to see if anyone was watching me, reassuring my poor dog who had given up on her crazy owner at that point. I walked the rest of the way home slowly coming out of subspace, practically vibrating with happiness, a sly, satisfied smile flickering across my face as I thought of you. I composed myself before I went in the house, greeting my husband with a light tone and hiding the intensity of my feelings as I can do. But I felt so good, so safe, so connected, so proud. So happy.

This whole week you have been exploring using your Slave in the public space. Again and again you chose the Task “Public” which requires me to bring a suction cup dildo to a public bathroom and fuck one of your holes (of your choosing, of course) for a minimum of 60 seconds. Typically you allow an orgasm with this Task and photographs are required. This is a daring task and one that makes me nervous and excited. To my surprise I have no problem cumming and your FC2 is dripping wet by the time I am done. It is so naughty and fun, playful as you like to call me, to look like such a proper middle aged woman, dressed for her work in heels and hose and then secretly do something so obscene and unexpected. After I fucked FC3 in the bathroom of the pharmacy I had to do a little shopping and I could not stop the occasional giggle from escaping as I demurely wandered the aisles clenching your plug in carefully as it tried to slide out of your opened and lubed hole.

You also played with me in public in my car for the first time. I had called you after my therapy appointment and I mentioned that she was curious how you would react to the previous blog post. You began reading it while I was on the phone outloud and I cringed as you read my critical comments. Suddenly you stopped reading and told me to take off my bra and ordered me to start edging. I was in a very exposed situation, parked where people could not help but see me directly and you allowed me to move to a more discreet location. I teasingly chose the local church parking lot where you verbally degraded me while describing ways that you would like to use your Property and another Toy at the same time. The ways you would make us play with each other and service you. You had me shove more and more fingers in FC2 and pinch and rub your clit until I was begging to cum, which I did publicly and loudly at your command.

You have been amazing this week. Attentive, responsive, creative, fun and my Slave heart is enthralled by you, My Master. I feel so connected to you that I actually had a spontaneous orgasm while driving home after edging all day without an orgasm. I had been daydreaming, thinking about how you called me precious to you and how wonderful it felt to be used by you with such intensity and relish. I was scared when it happened because it was a no orgasm day and I did not have permission, but you were understanding when I explained what had happened and thought perhaps it was a sign of how highly I value your thoughts about me, which subconsciously triggered a command orgasm. I think that is likely true, My Master. Your opinion and feelings about me are extremely important to me. And, to be honest, they are quite opaque to me. I don’t know how you feel about me and that’s why it was very moving to learn that you do see me as something special in your life. Thank you for telling me that, My Wolf. I know you do see me laid bare, both physically and mentally. You know my weaknesses and try to help me correct them. You hold me to a high standard because you believe I can reach it. I am so honored by your attention, time and energy. I am honored to be your Slave, My Lord and it means the world to me that you are happy to be My Master.

Happy Birthday!

It has also been a celebratory week with your birthday and the holiday. I was so pleased that your present got to you on time and you seem to like it. I look forward to doing some naughty shopping with you at the sex store so you can chose some kinky toys to use on your Property. It was fun spending a few hours one night taking sexy pictures of your plugged Property in fishnets, heels, pigtails, tutus, thongs, cuffs, body suits, garter belts and a wide variety of sexy poses, then sending them to you throughout the day on your birthday. I hope they pleased and amused you, My Master. This is a special birthday and I know you are going to go through big changes this year. I am hopeful that my service is helpful to you and that you come through this challenging year stronger, wiser and excited about your future. You are a wonderful person and I am so glad you came into my life. Happy Birthday, My Lord and Master!

Weekly Update 6/15/20-6/21/20

Posted on by Avertas

Well, you can’t fuck it, slap it, piss on it, cum in it, tie it up just yet, My Master

But at least you can see it

Make it cum

Make it kneel

Make it cry

Make it think of you all day long

Like a Pathetic Slut Slave should, My Lord

“Like an OWNED Pathetic Slut Slave you meant, right my Whore?”

Yes, Owned by my beloved Master

Freely given and fully claimed

Distant

For the first time I feel I don’t have too much to say in this weekly blog. It has been a relatively quiet week. You have continued to assign me my tasks in the mornings rather than have me complete them on my own because you have not filled my tasks in on the app. Many days you just have me do my regular assignments of my plugging and unplugging rituals and edging. I did not complete all the big tasks this week but you seem unconcerned. Probably you didn’t notice. You have been distracted this week which I mentioned to you and you said it was busy at work. I have no idea if you are telling the truth. It has crossed my mind that perhaps you are preoccupied with a new sub, but there is no way for me to know.

I spend a fair amount of time talking with other Doms myself, several of whom have befriended me and enjoy hearing about my adventures with you and in other parts of my life. Sometimes this week it felt like other men were interested in me both sexually and as a friend than you are, to be honest. I don’t know. I’m very sensitive to changes in your attention. And it’s your attention that I want. It’s your voice I want to hear. It’s your commands I want to follow. It’s your cock I want to suck. It’s you I want to worship and obey. I have chosen you for my Dom. I have given myself to you.

But I do want things in return. I want to feel connected and desired. I want to be remembered and the things I need attended to. I want you to open up to me. I want to understand you so I can serve you better. I want you to make time for me. I want you to enjoy the time that you make for me. I feel like I’m always chasing you and you like it that way. I run and I run, always trying to appeal, always trying to please. Sometimes I do, I suppose. But just as often I end up feeling like a fool, alone and crying on the floor. Do you know that I have moments when I do my rituals and I look at myself and think what a fucking idiot I am for engaging in this. And other times I am so enthralled by you, so consumed by you that I am horrified by the idea of losing you and everything you bring to my life.

Round and round I go in my feelings about you and it can be exhausting. I can’t give you up, even though there are other Doms I could serve. But I admit to feeling jealous of the subs who have Doms who want to talk to them, video chat them, ask them for things, want to play with them, praise them, enjoy them. You give me tasks but if the connection is not there, then tasks are just worksheets. Just checklists and not meaningful acts of service and worship.

I will believe that you have been busy with work and with your friends. I will believe that you are not ignoring me or sending your energies elsewhere. I am hoping that you will have more time and we will be able to connect in the coming week. I am sure that I will feel secure and reassured that you are enjoying our relationship if we are able to talk or even play together again. I hope it is easy to make me a priority because having me as your Slave brings you pride and pleasure. If there is anything more that I can do to serve you or please you, you must only say the word, My Master. I am on my knees waiting for you always, in my mind and in my heart, with your fuck cunts open and eager for your use, My Lord