Well, you can’t fuck it, slap it, piss on it, cum in it, tie it up just yet, My Master
But at least you can see it
Make it cum
Make it kneel
Make it cry
Make it think of you all day long
Like a Pathetic Slut Slave should, My Lord
“Like an OWNED Pathetic Slut Slave you meant, right my Whore?”
Yes, Owned by my beloved Master
Freely given and fully claimed
Distant
For the first time I feel I don’t have too much to say in this weekly blog. It has been a relatively quiet week. You have continued to assign me my tasks in the mornings rather than have me complete them on my own because you have not filled my tasks in on the app. Many days you just have me do my regular assignments of my plugging and unplugging rituals and edging. I did not complete all the big tasks this week but you seem unconcerned. Probably you didn’t notice. You have been distracted this week which I mentioned to you and you said it was busy at work. I have no idea if you are telling the truth. It has crossed my mind that perhaps you are preoccupied with a new sub, but there is no way for me to know.
I spend a fair amount of time talking with other Doms myself, several of whom have befriended me and enjoy hearing about my adventures with you and in other parts of my life. Sometimes this week it felt like other men were interested in me both sexually and as a friend than you are, to be honest. I don’t know. I’m very sensitive to changes in your attention. And it’s your attention that I want. It’s your voice I want to hear. It’s your commands I want to follow. It’s your cock I want to suck. It’s you I want to worship and obey. I have chosen you for my Dom. I have given myself to you.
But I do want things in return. I want to feel connected and desired. I want to be remembered and the things I need attended to. I want you to open up to me. I want to understand you so I can serve you better. I want you to make time for me. I want you to enjoy the time that you make for me. I feel like I’m always chasing you and you like it that way. I run and I run, always trying to appeal, always trying to please. Sometimes I do, I suppose. But just as often I end up feeling like a fool, alone and crying on the floor. Do you know that I have moments when I do my rituals and I look at myself and think what a fucking idiot I am for engaging in this. And other times I am so enthralled by you, so consumed by you that I am horrified by the idea of losing you and everything you bring to my life.
Round and round I go in my feelings about you and it can be exhausting. I can’t give you up, even though there are other Doms I could serve. But I admit to feeling jealous of the subs who have Doms who want to talk to them, video chat them, ask them for things, want to play with them, praise them, enjoy them. You give me tasks but if the connection is not there, then tasks are just worksheets. Just checklists and not meaningful acts of service and worship.
I will believe that you have been busy with work and with your friends. I will believe that you are not ignoring me or sending your energies elsewhere. I am hoping that you will have more time and we will be able to connect in the coming week. I am sure that I will feel secure and reassured that you are enjoying our relationship if we are able to talk or even play together again. I hope it is easy to make me a priority because having me as your Slave brings you pride and pleasure. If there is anything more that I can do to serve you or please you, you must only say the word, My Master. I am on my knees waiting for you always, in my mind and in my heart, with your fuck cunts open and eager for your use, My Lord