February 25th, 2020
TBH, I’m still on the fence about engaging with you, Sir But apparently I’ve decided to give you another chance
Right from the start I felt the pull of it. The desire to be on my knees, the urge to call you “Sir”, the premonition that you would eventually ask for “Master”. I sent you a picture of myself on my knees fairly early on. You didn’t even ask for it and my position was technically incorrect but you didn’t correct me, just praised me and I’m sure smiled, seeing how naturally I followed my instincts. I also introduced titles early, as I complimented you on the names you were using for me, “Pet”, “Little Girl”, “Kitten”. You allowed me to title you “Sir” and then trained me to use it to speak to you with respect.
But there were many times where I balked. The first time you asked me who was a submissive slut I left it unanswered by text. Your interest in more public displays of power over me terrified me as I need great discretion from my lovers. Sometimes it seemed that you didn’t appreciate that, despite my insistence. You spoke about the future and my participation and obedience in a variety of extreme sexual acts with total confidence that I would agree.
About a week in I almost ended it. I told you it wasn’t going to work for me and thanked you for your time. You had sent me an image of hard bondage with the woman fully immobilized, gagged, clothespins on her nipples and a vibrator strapped to her clit. I told you it looked scary and that I was claustrophobic. You told me it was wonderful and that if I was in that position you would make me worship your ass. I didn’t respond to you but I messaged my friend that I felt you were not listening to me, that you were not tuned into my responses and it felt like a red flag. He agreed that I should be careful and consider pulling back. When I talked to you again, you were rational and reassuring. You apologized and sent me more pictures of yourself and told me more about you as a person. Once I engaged with you again, you quickly reminded me to use titles and I felt the grip of you on my mind once more.