“Where do you think you would be when with me?”
I think it would depend on many things, My Master
Most importantly where YOU want me to be
“Such as….”
The situation and location, your mood, your wishes and goals for me at the time
“All true
Under…
Kneeling next to….
Under massaging and licking my feet…”
But in my heart I am always at your feet, My Lord
“As is proper.”
“Or melted and adrift if I am unforgiving”
Everything you do effects me, My Master
In one way or another
I am a sensitive person
“And…How much does that scare the crap out of you?
People who feel deeply experience great joy
And also deep hurt
My feelings make me vulnerable and I don’t like that, My Master
So the answer to your question is…a lot, My Master
Healing and Plugged
This week has been quiet, necessitated by my continued semi-invalid state as I recover from surgery. However, as I have slowly healed and my energy has improved I have missed more and more my usual tasks and rituals. You have responded by gradually but gently increasing the simple tasks you have been giving me this week, typically edging or Identify a certain number of times with you telling me in the morning if orgasms are allowed and when. As my orgasms all belong to you, I am used to asking for them, and you have given me a no orgasm day or two this week as well. The last few days I have been wanting more orgasms as I near ovulation and my drive is rising despite the stress of surgery. I was unsure if I had access to my usual “freebies” of two orgasms (unless it is a scheduled no orgasm day of M/W/F). When I asked you today, you told me I did not get any freebies until I returned to work. Its so funny now, that I don’t even think that it is strange to ask you if and when I can orgasm. It has become my “new normal” as you like to say, just like being plugged.
I unplugged right before the surgery. It was strange being unplugged for so long. As I healed I began hoping that you would tell me to plug FC3 again but you were silent on the subject until I finally had to ask when you thought I might be able to be plugged again. You told me noon on Wednesday which ended up being lovely as you were edging me with alternating orgasms on the hour throughout the day. I was home alone at the time and was able to kneel in my quiet, darkened room looking in the mirror. I removed the Njoy from its box, where it had been waiting since the surgery. It is so cold and heavy, such a lovely object. Without hesitation I placed it in my mouth and a shiver of pleasure washed over me. I felt my body sink heavily into Nadu as I sucked gently at your plug, such dirty and regressive act that I find unbelievable soothing and erotic. The smooth surface of the plug and the weight in my mouth felt so familiar and so right, warming quickly in the hot, wetness of FC1.
Finally I pulled it out and holding it at eye level I recited my “Grounding” mantra twice, reminding myself of the importance of always being aware of your feelings, My Master and never acting in a way that harms you or endangers your Ownership of me. Then I dipped the plug in your slippery FC2 for a moment to wet it again and pushed it firmly into your tight FC3. As I had been unplugged for so long, it didn’t pop in as smoothly as it usually does, and I was amused that I had to make a bit of effort to encourage FC3 to spread open and accept your plug. Once it was in place, a deep sense of calm washed over me and I smiled at my reflection in peace and joy. I was plugged again and all was right with the world. I had never felt that I wasn’t Owned this week despite being unplugged so long, but it is a wonderful thing to have the physical sensation as a reminder of my connection to you.
Immediately following the Ritual I remembered I had your permission to have an orgasm. It was perfect timing as I was home alone and already aroused and subby, I pulled out my biggest dildo and the satisfier and went back to the mirror where I put the dildo on the ground and knelt over it while I lowered myself down, filling your FC2 completely. I moaned in pleasure feeling both your holes stuffed at once. I clicked on the satisfier and put it on your clit, the incredible sensations immediately making FC2 even wetter as I began riding up and down the dildo, imagining serving you with another Toy, being allowed by you to kiss her, stroke her hair and breasts, lick and suck her nipples while you watched us play until both of us were dripping with need. I imagined you walking towards us, both kneeling before you and taking your cock out which we would eagerly suck. Imagining our tongues intertwined around your hard cock, I frantically fucked your FC2, bouncing up and down the full length until I came so hard I yelled out loud with pleasure.
You don’t know how badly I want you to be real, My Master. Not perfect, not even the image that I know I have made of you, which is not who you are, I understand that. But I am on my knees to whatever karmic force will listen, begging that the two of us as Master and Slave in real life can be a tenth of what we have imagined together. It has been interesting this week, as you begin discussing buying a property and we talk about birth control requirements and other practical aspects of your return. It is beginning to feel more real, although it is a reality I have trouble trusting. A part of me is still waiting for you to ditch me at the last second which would be devastating. Everything feels so nebulous right now, but I will try to have faith that someday I will feel your heavy hand on my actual flesh and will kneel not to an image, my reflection, a voice on the phone but a real man, My Master, My Lord, My Wolf.